Information Technology Laughter, Remedies & Stress Relief
INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY & BUSINESS - STRESS RELIEF
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost.
He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology" says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well" says the balloonist, "Everything you have told me is technically correct, but useless."
The man below says, "You must work in business."
"I do" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were in before we met, but now it's my fault."
More from The Master Minds Collection
HOW MUCH WOULD YOU TAKE OFF?
The owner of a golf course in Tennessee was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help.
If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."
You gotta love those Tennessee Graduate Students.
SHERLOCK HOLMES AND THE GREAT OUTDOORS
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."
SISTER LOGICAL & SISTER MATHEMATICAL
There are two nuns - one of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM); and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: "Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants." SL: "It's logical - he wants to rape us."
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minues at the most. What can we do?" SL: "The only thing we can do of course is to walk faster."
SM: "It is not working." SL: "Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing . . . he started to walk faster too."
SM: "So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute." SL: "The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both."
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: "Sister Logical!! Thank God you are here!! Tell me what happened!!" SL: "The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me."
SM: "Yes, Yes!! But what happened then?" SL: "The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could."
SM: "And...?" SL: "The only logical thing happened; he reached me."
SM: "What did you do?" SL: "The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up."
SM: "Oh Sister! What did the man do?" SL: "The only logical thing to do, he pulled down his pants."
SM: "Oh No! What happend then?" SL: "Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down......"
(Now ......those of you who thought it would be dirty, pray for forgiveness.)
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