Lawyers Laughter, Remedies &
A secretary, a paralegal and a partner in a city law firm are walking through a park on their way to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."
"Me first! Me first!" says the secretary. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.Poof! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the paralegal. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
"You're next," the Genie says to the lawyer.
The lawyer says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Lawyers in the Here After?
An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer becomes dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush
toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer: "So, how's it
going down there in hell?"
Satan replies: "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies: "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should
never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says: "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping
God says: "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers:
"Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"
Big Man in a Small Town
Joe graduated from Law School and decided to open up his own practice in his hometown.
The first day the practice opened, Joe saw a man walking towards his office. He decided he was going to make a big impression.
Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking.
"No. Absolutely not, you tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million. Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support. Okay. Tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details."
This went on for almost five minutes. Finally, Joe hung up the phone and turned to the man.
"Sorry for the delay, as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?"
The man replied, "I'm from the phone company. I came to hook up your phone."
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