Love Me Laughter, Remedies & Stress Relief
Love Me For Who I Am
Let the story begin....
I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so
much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their
heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into
a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well,
the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my
puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do
for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'd just buy them all!
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear; let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT??!!!"
I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me
for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly---over a frozen hell.
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