Menopause Laughter, Remedies & Stress Relief
Menopausal Women Fight Taliban
American women -- We can do it!
Take all American women who are within five years of
menopause -train us for a few weeks, outfit us with
automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer
with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna -
drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of
Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally.
Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when
doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills,
is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.
We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to
protect them and their future. We'd like to get away from our
husbands, if they haven't left already. And for those of us
who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom
to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning.
We have nothing to lose.
We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the
carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas
across America and never lost a pound. We can easily survive
months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all!
We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars,
hardware stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in
some cave will be no problem.
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new
government? Oh, please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal warfare.
Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick
there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts
and money sources. We know how to find that money and we know
how to seize it ... with or without the government's help!
Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women.
Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over
their godforsaken terrain.
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